Maybe This is Harsh

But I think that Matthew McConaughey needs to be killed. First there is his accent which is one part Southern drunkard and one part relaxed hippie. And EVERYONE hates a hippie.

The constant disregard for clothing, in particular shirts, is really excessive. It even has my dad crossing a homophobic line to mention, "Have you seen his stomach? He's really cut; his body is just unbelievable." The public workouts, the shitty movies (Failure to Launch? Surfer, Dude?) the natural beach bum lifestyle. Most offensive, though is the CLOTHING LINE he has given the public: it's called J.K. Livin and it stands for Just Keep Livin'. Which is apparantly his motto. I don't know if this means like, roll with it, or if he's actually telling us to literally keep breathing in order to sustain ourselves. I know it'd be fucked up because he just had a son and all, but I think it'd really be doing the kid a favor by sparing him a life of douchebaggery.

I will leave you with McConaughey desribing the birth of his son:

"We found a great rhythm, contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music. This is where I learned -- and no one tells you this -- but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing!"

I know, what a dumbass.