Monday, February 22, 2010

What are the Rules?

I really really want to go to Madame Tussauds and take pictures with wax famous people. What I'm wondering is how far they will let you go. I know you're allowed to touch the statues (I think) because I always see fat girls with their arms around Johnny Depp, like I'm supposed to believe Johnny Depp let this slop touch him. So anyways, like, are the guards going to step in if I'm on my knees pretending to blow Abe Lincoln? Are lewd photos allowed? And where do they draw the line? Who gets to decide? I need to go to Madame Tussauds NOW

I'm back

So after a painful and heroic struggle with cancer, I'm back to blogging. No, I'm just kidding, I didn't have cancer, but I did go to Vermont and graduate college. So I'm feeling into this. Lying about having cancer just reminded me that I just don't get people who are superstitious about this shit. Like, all these people I know think it's bad luck to lie and say your grandma, mom (if your ballsy), uncle, whatever died as an excuse to miss school/work. What, like your grandma is going to actually have a stroke/succumb to cancer/die because you used her as an excuse? Whatever, my Nana would be like, go ahead (This isn't true). I once told a professor I missed so much class because my son was really sick and because I'm a single mom I had to stay home with him. Now I don't have a fucking son but I don't think it's bad karma. What would the consequence of this one be? I get pregnant and actually do become a single mom? My future unborn son is a sickly little pussy who has a peanut allergy? I don't know. But let's say God does smite me and strike me down, any of the above coffins would be totally cool with me. I don't really care which one, I like the fish though, just make sure don't have a boring coffin.

On second thought, I do text A LOT so maybe the cell phone coffin would be fitting but kind of embarrassing. Oh and is that lizard one a baby's coffin? Morbid!