In lieu of gifts, please bring baby to sacrifice at altar

I found this invitation while baby-sitting. I dutifully blacked out information that would allow anyone to child stalk.
But seriously, Satan much?

I Want My Two Dollars

No, seriously. A certain DIVE bar by me has a nasty and confusing habit of not giving you your change. In example, i ordered a lager tonight that cost $3 (THREE) dollars. I paid with a 5 (FIVE) and stood there for five minutes before realizing I wasn't getting my change.

I fucking tip. probably a dollar for a three dollar beer, but dude WHAT THE FUCK. Do not assume i'm giving you a tip of my change.


This is the third time this has happened here. The first time I paid a $4 (FOUR) dollar tab with a 10 (TEN) and never got change. This caused me to doubt myself and wonder if I paid with a $5 (FIVE), but I still should have gotten my fucking dollar back. However, I paid with a 10 (TEN).

I know I could have asked for my change but that's awkward and makes me look cheap and anal.

Which, apparantly, I am.

Some People Are Just Better

I thought Paris Hilton looked pretty pulled together for jetting around the airport. But then fucking Posh blows it out of the water.

Doucheass of the Week

So not only does The Bachelor "pick the wrong girl," he fucking proposes to her. And then dumps her on TV for the other girl he dumped on the show. Which is super douchey to both bitches. I know we're supposed to feel bad for him because he's a single dad, but I mostly feel bad for his boyfriend that he won't publically acknowledge.

I'm glad she found a look that really works for her

Muuuuuuuch better. This is very boner-inducing.